Has it all gone to shit? Student Assist is here to help!

By Aaron Angel

Let’s face it; being a student is hard enough without the added stress of financial, academic or health worries. Your brain is getting stuffed with new ideas on a daily basis, your flesh sack of a body seems to always require nourishing with edible matter, and deadlines incessantly approach much like the inevitability of death only much more tangibly. So it’s no surprise that sometimes we could all use a little help to keep us going, and that’s where Student Assist steps in.

Student Assist is a branch of the Murdoch Student Guild, and they’re a great first point of contact for almost anything. They encourage students to engage with them even if you think your particular problem is outside of their ability to help. Chances are, even if they even if they can’t help you directly, they’ll know someone who can. To get a better idea of what kind of problems Student Assist can help you with, I sat down with Mark and Hazel and chatted about the challenges Student Assist encounter on a daily basis.

Aaron: “What are the most common issues that students come to Student Assist seeking help with?”

Hazel: “I deal with undergraduates, and I have a range of welfare issues that come up, mainly financial. If a student has been unsuccessful in applying for Centrelink they end up with all these financial issues; housing, money for books, even basic needs. Sometimes they haven’t eaten for a couple of days. They come in to use the foodbank and we give them some Coles vouchers and help them out with some bills from time to time. And when legal matters come up we can refer to community legal services.”

Mark: “Postgraduate students perspective it is distinctly split into two cohorts, the coursework and the research students. Research students are a totally different ballgame. Mostly their issues are to do with supervision; neglect and lack of communication from the schools and supervisors. There also are some research ethics type issues to do with somebody trying to steal research or perform research that is way too similar. We see bullying and disagreement type issues. After all, what they are doing is unlike coursework study; it’s a microcosm of the real world of research. They have their own unique worries- lack of certainty in their future because of funding cuts and things like that.

For international students, there is a slightly different set of challenges. New student are in a very different environment- things like understanding the language, finding friends, and adjusting to the cultural norms of a new society are hard. Some can feel very isolated at times and paired with this is the concerns that issues may affect their VISA. There are also cases of potential exploitation at work. International students may get jobs, but since they don’t know what their rights are they can often get bullied into situations where they can get in trouble with the government for tax fraud. We also have a specialist knowledge pertaining to academic policy and university processes. However, if we identify a need outside our specialties we can refer to we can do that as we work very closely with support teams on and off campus.”

If you run into trouble, contact Student Assist early on and be willing to be open and honest with them. Their services are confidential, and the more information you give them about the nature of your problems, the more you empower them to help you. We all stumble along the way, so there’s no shame in reaching out for an arm to steady yourself on.

I’ll leave you with the following pieces of advice from Mark and Hazel.

Mark: “Use all your resources. If you have are any issues don’t procrastinate, don’t delay- talk to people, preferably us!”

Hazel: “Be mindful to report to Centrelink as required, because once your payments are cut off it takes a lot of work to have them restored.”

Makeup Review – Sugarpill Twin Star Collection

By Brittany Asplin

Need advice on makeup and skin care before you buy?  Let me help by trying it for you.

I always get excited when special edition collections are released in the makeup industry; but when it combines Sanrio characters with an amazing quality makeup brand, I must have it!

Sugarpill recently created a new makeup collection with the adorable Sanrio Twin Stars and makeup lovers around the world are falling in love it!  Sugarpill’s consistently smooth and pigmented formula combined with Kiki and Lala “who travelled to Earth to learn how to be the best, shiniest stars they can be” to make a super ‘kawaii’ collection.

The collection is a large six pan makeup palette, two liquid lip sticks, an adorable makeup bag and a treasure box.  The palette consists of a mix of three foiled shadows, a matte shadow and two frosted shades. It’s definitely is not a nude palette, but if you aren’t afraid of colour you’ll love it.  The names and colours of the shades also fit in theme with the Twin Stars:

  • Cloud Maker – foiled silvery blue
  • Star Ribbon – Matte aqua
  • Twinkle, Twinkle – Foiled astral gold
  • Dream Dust – Frosted peachy nude with pink champagne duo chrome
  • Sky Candy – Frosted baby pink
  • Wish – Foiled copper

When I test eye shadows for the first time I generally use a primer because my eye shadow tends to crease during the day, but even without the primer these shades are super pigmented and last all day.  Another plus is that the pans in this palette are huge! Compare a MAC eye shadow pan to a Sugarpill pan: you get 1.5 grams in a MAC pan compared to 2.5 grams (which in normal English means you get a lot more product.)

BRITTY TIP: If you want the foiled shades to pop, wet your brush a little using makeup spray, water, or even licking the brush before you dip it into the foiled shade.

The two liquid lipsticks are the exact same colours as the twins Kiki and Lala.  A gorgeous aqua and bubblegum pink infused with celestial gold sparkles that come to the surface the longer you wear them (or simply by rubbing your lips lightly together.)  The lipsticks have a slight ‘creamsicle’ scent (almost creamy ice cream) which is delicious but not overpowering. Some liquid lipsticks can make your lips feel dried out and crusty as the day goes on; but Sugarpill’s formula is buttery and moisturising so your lips don’t feel dry or cracked. And if you avoid intense make out sessions and don’t eat oily foods, this lippy will stay on all day.

BRITTY TIP: Moisturise your lips, it will help your lipstick last longer! Apply a bit of lip balm or lip cream to your lips before you do your makeup.  Let it soak in as you put on your makeup and then apply your lipstick when you finish.

If you buy the collection set, you also get an adorable makeup bag with Kiki and Lala on the cover and a cute treasure box.  The bag fits the palette perfectly with enough room for a couple lipsticks. However, it’s not overly large so if you are travelling you may need another bag for the rest of your makeup, or you could use it for your brushes, or as a super cute pencil case for uni.  The treasure box stores the makeup as it is posted but you can actually keep as a ‘memory box’ or ‘keepsake box’.

The whole collection is $79 US dollars (~$100 AUD).  If you just want the Lip Duo it’s $36 USD (~$46 AUD).  The eye shadow palette is $38 USD (~$49 AUD). Unfortunately, the bag and box is only available in the Twin Star Collection with the lip duo and the palette.  If you are on a budget this collection is not cheap, but Sugarpill’s quality has never failed me. The formulas are perfect, the colours are beautiful and incredibly pigmented, and the adorable packaging is one of the best things about this collection.  If you are a collector or makeup enthusiast like myself, I highly recommend this collection.

Ed Sheeran in concert: Holy shit someone came to Perth?

By Brittany Asplin

Sheeran’s second show at the new stadium; how did the new stadium measure up?

In the few months of the Optus Stadium being open, there has already been much debate over the new stadium, the controversial ‘public transport only’ route with no Ubers or any private cars asides from the expensive taxis; the overpriced food and drinks menu, and the delays of getting out of the stadium after a show or game.  With this article I hope to answer all these questions for you.

A lot of the public felt a bit shafted after learning that the easiest way to get to the stadium is by train.  I know, I was one of them. I had a drop off pick up plan with my parents and everything for the Ed Sheeran’s concert.  However, my boyfriend and I worked out the easiest way to get there was the new train shuttle that goes straight to the Optus Stadium from Perth Station.  And it was very simple, there was no real problem, our tickets for the concert included the public transport cost. The only real downside was the stairs. And there are a lot of them.  Going into the station off the platforms, getting out of the station and the same for going home. Yes there were elevators but unless you wanted to wait or were an invalid you would have no choice but to take the stairs.  But that is really the only down side to the public transport; everyone was polite, patient getting on and off the trains and it was a quick ride from the stadium.

Now the cost of drinks and food.  For a bottle of water and a mid-strength beer it amounted to $14.  For any uni student that alone is expensive. Although it costs as much as you would pay at the pub.  A full pint of beer costs at least $10. Food is also pretty expensive at the stadium, for a Mrs Mac’s pie and large chips costing $11.20.  But it seems like prices for food and drinks compared to other stadiums. See the link attached for more information on food and drinks costs and what they offer at the stadium:


Concert time!  All the lights went dark and this tiny red headed ant popped up on the stage!  Yeah we had seats up in the heavens (level 5), but why didn’t the stadium use the big screens?  If they just used the big screens behind the small stage setup then at least fans way up the back could see.  However, we had a great time; Ed had an amazing voice and the songs he played ranged from his new album and a few of his classics.  Ed looked like he was enjoying himself and wanted the crowd to enjoy themselves too; his audience interactions was good and even got people dancing in the aisles of the stadium.  There was talk by some fans on social media that it was a little hard to hear Ed when he was talking to the crowd, which was true. Although from where I was sitting drinking my beer I still could hear eighty five percent of what he was saying, and I am pretty sure other fans got the gist.  There was a magical moment when all the lights went out during A Team and everyone turned on their phone flashlights.  It looked like twinkling stars across the stadium.

Even though the stage they had setup was small compared to the massive stadium, and at times it was difficult to hear him talk, and yes it did take a while to get home; it was a great night out!  The music was good, everyone was having fun and singing along. Even on the train home people were singing together. It was a great night out and I’ll be looking out for tickets next time he comes back.

Library construction renews student spaces

By Sarah Smit

The 24/7 Learning Common on level 2 of  the Geoffrey Bolton library, long known as the bane of any student unwise enough to have a laptop with a non-infinite battery life, has been completely refurbished.

The Learning Common now boasts working powerpoints near almost every desk, USB charging points on most tables, and a collection of noise dampening couches. The Murdoch Guild of Students has partnered with the Library Mangement to provide new vending machines and free mobile phone charging stations.

The Library’s new blue square chairs are noise dampening, allowing collaboration which doesn’t disturb those nearby

Construction on the 24/7 learning common is just one part of the major changes taking place.  The after hours entrance on level 2 will soon be accessible 24 hours, meaning that students coming from the ECL building can bypass Bush Court on their way to the library.

Moving forward, library management intends to decorate the space with student art and is looking into providing whiteboards for general use.

Matthew Evans, the new Director of Library and Knowledge Management Services says that the current major construction is projected to be finished by the end of March, but that they intend to continually renew the space yearly to keep up with student’s needs and feedback.

METIOR is hiring!

Do you like words, arranged in sentences and paragraphs? Are you wildly opinionated and unreasonably idealistic? Of course you are, you’re a uni student. METIOR is looking for contributors, so if you’d like the opportunity to share your thoughts with more than just your 18 twitter followers, maybe we can help each other out.

As an editor for METIOR your role will be to seek and review contributor submissions, to work with contributors to help them get their work ready for print/screen, to build relationships and liaise with clubs and faculty groups to promote METIOR as a place for students to have their voice heard.

  • Political editors: We are looking for two politically charged people from either end of the spectrum to bring a balance of political opinion to the pages of METIOR. Passionate debates welcome, just no knife fight tie breakers.


  • Comedy editor: Do you see the humour in everything around you? Are you never without a witty retort? Does your commentary/satire have a razor’s edge to it? Or do you just love making people laugh so hard they give that awesome little snort? Consider putting your talents and energy into being METIOR’s new Comedy editor.


  • Creative editor: Is art, words, puzzles, videogames, and interpretive dance more your deal? METIOR would love to have you as their new creative editor to help feature the work of Murdoch’s up and coming creative talents.


  • Contributors: Have a story to tell? An opinion to passionately argue for? But don’t want to have to commit to being an editor? METIOR is always accepting submissions for print or pixel (The website. I was trying to be cute). Have your words immortalized in your campus magazine. Seriously, our archives go all the way back to the very first volume printed in 1974. Your words will live on well past your graduation. There are no prerequisites for writing for METIOR; all you need is passion, be it for campus news or short fiction or poetry or comedy or film reviews. You can write as many or as few articles as you like, but we need content and we need you! If you have an interest or soapbox or a high horse, we want to know about it. And if English is not your first language, but you still have a story you want to share, don’t be put off! We are happy to work with you to help you get your story told.

Positions need to be filled in time for work to begin on issue 2 in week 6. Applicants for editor positions will have an advantage in selection if they have been involved in issue 1, so email us and get involved now!

For more information about writing for METIOR, see here.

To apply, send us a cover letter, a copy of your resume, and a 300 word article on the topic you’d like to edit. Applications should be directed to metior@murdochguildstudents.com.au.


Life-hacks at Murdoch

By Adelaide Cromwell-Keenan

So you’ve enrolled at university, only to realise you have no idea what you’re doing? Join the club, buddy; here are some ways to decrease your culture shock.

  1. Realise that everyone has been just as lost when they first started. If you’re someone who doesn’t feel comfortable asking for directions, check out the map on the Murdoch website.
  2. The Student Centre is your best friend. If you have any questions about your units, courses, visa, or anything of the kind just drop into their building.
  3. If you miss a lecture make sure to catch up online. We’re leaving self-sabotage behind in 2017.
  4. Look to the Guild if you’re someone who might need to take advantage of the second hand bookstore and food bank.
  5. Murdoch offers a range of health services, including a free counselling service.
  6. Don’t underestimate the servo across the street. It may give you food poisoning, but the bargains are worth it.
  7. Take your student ID card everywhere. So many food places offer student discount if you flash your card.
  8. If you’re someone who may need your disability needs met, visit the Murdoch Equity and Social Inclusion office for enquiries.
  9. Talk to your classmates, they’ll know where to get free parking and the best websites to pirate your textbooks from. Plus, it’s less concerning when you drink at the Tav with friends.
  10. The bookstore is the perfect place to go at a last minute panic when realising you’ve left all your exam essentials at home. We’ve all been there.

Remarkable! Student eats nothing but vending machine chips for two days straight.

By Sarah Smit

In a feat of survivalism to wow Bear Grylls, Murdoch psychology student, Brian Williams, has survived for two days exclusively on vending machine chips.

Williams has been in the 24/7 Learning Common for over 40 hours straight working on an end of semester paper. He reportedly bought the first packet of Red Rock Deli Honey Soy Chicken chips when the Kadjidinni cafe closed for the night, 3 hours into his marathon writing session.

‘I started to panic when I realised I couldn’t fuel this essay with cheap sushi. I was freaking out, thinking that I might have to go across the road and get a servo pie.’

‘But when they opened in the morning, I didn’t need to go upstairs to the Kadj’.’ Williams told a Metior reporter. ‘It’s easier to eat the out-of-date Twisties and purple Powerade.’

‘It feels really natural, like I’m living off the land, you know.’

But vendanism isn’t all sunshine and roses. Williams says that some prepackaged, sodium-filled snacks evoke deep feelings of self-hatred.

‘I thought I’d hit rock bottom when I ate a packet of Vege Chips, but then three hours later I spent real money on Burger Rings. Burger rings!’

Recent studies suggest Burger Rings are not, as was previously thought, a member of the chip family, but are closely related to packing peanuts and the crunchy stuff that you get when you leave a bowl of cornflakes in the sink for a week.

Williams was last seen googling pictures of citrus in an attempt to ward off scurvy.

Breaking: Dirty little gremlin drinks vending machine coffee in full view of Bang Bang Specialty Coffee Vendors

By Sarah Smit

In an impressive display of utter contempt for Perth’s world class specialty coffee scene, a BAR100  tutor was seen today getting a coffee from a vending machine not ten metres from Bang Bang Specialty Coffee Vendors.

Local garbage person and all-round human disaster, Brian Fleming, was taking a break from grading the most pointless unit the world has ever seen when he offended public decency.

Experts have suggested several possible explanations for Fleming’s disgusting  caffeine habits.

Sociologist Amanda Jones suggested cultural differences; ‘It could be that he’s from Geraldton – good coffee is a socialised response to mornings.  What else could you expect? His hometown only has one entry on Beanhunter!’

Biologist Ashley Thomas favours the bin chicken theory: ‘I think it’s more likely that he has some White Ibis in his ancestry. His beverage choices could be a throwback to the family’s bin juice drinking days.

Charlie, Bang Bang’s regular barista, displayed his characteristic chillness about the whole shit sandwich. Not even this blatant insult could harsh his vibe.

‘To be honest it was kind of impressive; everyone could see and they were judging. You gotta admire the balls on the guy.’

When asked why Murdoch even has coffee vending machines, a spokesperson for the university suggested the machines are actually bait.

‘There’s an assumption that we’re providing more options, but we’re actually just allowing for natural selection to take it’s course.’

‘If someone’s not willing to wait in line for proper coffee, let them have their turd smoothie. They don’t deserve Bang Bang and they don’t deserve happiness.’

When asked for comment, Bang Bang’s owner had this to offer;

‘Look to be honest I think you all just need to chill out. I don’t often say this, but it’s just coffee.’

Editors note: Geraldton has several excellent cafés, and this article is in no way a reflection on them. Don’t @ me. 

Overdue Student Hub Finally Open For Use

By Sarah Smit


After four months of delays, the first stage of Murdoch’s new Student Hub has just managed to open in time for O-week.


The Student Hub was originally slated for completion in August 2017 and is a high tech space which replaces and expands the long-closed Refectory.


Staff at the Hub told METIOR that completing the finishing touches was a close run thing; the Hub was handed over to the cleaners at 6am on Monday, allowing it to open just in time for Orientation Week.


When asked if the last minute crunch was a stressful experience, one university staff member said of Richard Kendall, Property Portfolio Manager in Murdoch’s Property, Development and Commercial Services Office; ‘I think he’s gone grey.’


Some Murdoch students are impressed that the long overdue project has been completed at all.


‘I expected a cardboard box there for the rest of my uni career,’ says Shannon Halle.


Eventually the Bush Court level of the Hub will house the convenience store proposed by the Guild, three hot food vendors, and a bubble tea café.


The old Club Murdoch location has been converted to student facilities, including club meeting rooms, Guild offices, and a 20 seat film theatre.


The old Senate building has been gutted and will be Club Murdoch’s new location and a combined Careers Centre and student collaboration space.


Construction will continue on the food stalls and Club Murdoch, while the bubble tea cafe is expected to be open for business in less than a month.

Diary of an Overacheiver

By Sarah Smit

Tim Thomas has had many titles in his life; full time student at Murdoch, part time minion at Stefen’s Books, and curator of an extensive collection of waistcoats. Currently he’s a Murdoch graduate and the owner of Dymocks Subiaco. Metior caught up with Tim to discuss his most miraculous achievement; working in his field after graduating.


So Tim, you’ve done things with your life. How did that happen?


I worked out pretty early on that I was heading towards small business ownership and that I actually really like retail, unlike every other sane human. So I set about working out what skills I would need to run a small business. Not just ‘I love books! I’ll be a bookseller!’ But: ‘What skills do I need to be a successful bookseller?’ I did a bit of management for other bookstores, but I realised that wasn’t going to cut it, so I looped through at Murdoch and did a business degree. While I was doing that, I was running my own small business on the side.
As for Subiaco, I was working there anyway as a part time job  when the owner said ‘I’m selling, so you might all be out of a job shortly.’ I was like, ‘Well, I’m looking to buy…” They went ‘You can’t afford it,’ and I was like ‘No, really, I can afford it,’ and they went, ‘We know what you’re getting paid, you can’t afford this.’ ‘Here’s my bank account, I can afford this…’ At which point they were like; ‘Oh… Yes you can. Lets talk.’

So you were studying at Murdoch, and running your own small business, working a part time job as well and running a book club at the same time? So tell me, did you sacrifice a goat to the gods of time management? Are you a freak from the planet Productivity?

Easily bored. Easily bored, and I like getting shit done. I like being able to go out and do things, coz you missed out that I was also volunteering with save the children. I was running the loading dock for their annual sale, so that was about 54 tonnes of books, working for Stefen[‘s books], running my own [bookstall], full time uni, save the children, and I did a little bit of foreign travel while I was at it. I also played a lot of video games.

And read libraries and libraries of speculative fiction at the same time.

Yep. Honestly the study and the work synched up nicely, because by the time my exams or assessments came around, I would have as much as three months worth of experience [at my small business] in that field. Being able to call on that experience base as opposed to just the theoretical knowledge everyone else gets was a pretty massive leg up.

So if we looked at your exam scores, would we all just feel very bad about ourselves?

Oh, no, some of them were terrible. There was at least one exam where I completely blanked out, where I actually walked up to the lecturer [to hand my paper in]and said, ‘I’ve failed the exam, and it’s going to be badly, can we schedule the appointment to talk about how badly I failed the exam, right now?’ He was like ‘nah, you’ll be fine, you’re a good student.” It wasn’t. I got 17 out of 100.

What? You’re not perfect?

Not all the time, no, but I got through every unit that I ever entered. Some of them by the skin of my teeth. I think for me, the big motivator was that I was paying in cash up front. I have no HECS debt. The money I was earning at my business was being used to pay for my next semester’s courses. And if I failed them, I’d have to pay for them again. It’s a good idea, because you’re avoiding that moral hazard of being insulated from your failure. If you fail you know exactly what it’s cost you and what it will cost you again.

What would you suggest for new students who might not naturally have the unimaginable willpower that you do?

Have your goal before you start uni. That’s the one thing I found between myself, the mature age students, and the people coming straight out of high school; the ones who knew exactly what they wanted, and what they needed to get from where they were to where they wanted to be, those were the ones who did really well. They were motivated, they had that personal enfranchisement in what they were doing.  The ones who were just coming I because they thought it would be cool to study this, or their parents made them, or because they were just drifting at that point in life? They had fun, but they didn’t pass uni.

Yeah, that really resonates with my experience. Comparing the units I’ve abysmally failed and the ones where I’ve come top of the class, it’s the units where you care about it and you’re excited to learn what you’re going to learn, because you want to impress your tutor, those are the ones that you don’t fail.

Or the ones where you’ve taken the theory, and you’ve done something with it, it’s taken your eyebrows off and you’re like, ‘Right I fucked up horribly, how did I fuck up? TELL MEEEE! Here is the Facebook feed marketing, how did I break it?’ I mean, you have to actually go in with that kind of hard data [to your lecturers] and go ‘Here’s what I did. It was horrible! How did I go wrong?’ Cause you know it’s going to come up in the exam, and you can be like, I’ve done that. I know exactly what to do, I’ve done that already.

So practical application massively helped you.

Yep. Uni and work rolled from one into the other. What I was practising at work I was essentially studying for uni, and anything new I learned for uni would roll into work, and I could improve that, and the whole thing just snowballed into each other. There’s a reason I wound the stall down pretty much the moment I graduated. That feedback loop had ended, so…

There was no point anymore.

Move on to the next thing.

So would you recommend Murdoch’s business unit these days, because they’re a bit different, right?

Yeah, they changed them up massively just after I left, most of lecturers I had are gone. The economics school has the same crowd as when I was there, and they were bloody legendary. Loretta, if you’re listening, hiiiiii!

[…] I’ve been pretty much persistently doing paperwork all January, because I know what I’m like, I’m terrible at paperwork, it’s one of the things where there’s guaranteed to be stuff ups, I just need to go through and hunt for them, and it’s that point of being like ‘… ah. We forgot to pay that bill.’ *type type type type* and done! Two days before it’s due!

You know that’s actually not a bad technique for uni stuff as well. You’ve identified your strengths and weaknesses and you’re deliberately and intentionally targeting the weaknesses.

It’s what I try to do. There are definite points where it fails. I’m not a good mentor and I’m not a good teacher, so that’s one area where I persistently fail over and over again.

How do you deal with that kind of failure and not hate yourself?

Honestly, I go and ask for help and try again.

That’s such good advice. And I think that’s the advice that – you seem to have internalised it very early- but that’s the advice that we all need, and no one can hear, for some reason.  I never wanted to ask for advice for aaany thing, and the times where I hid myself away in my room and avoided talking to anyone about the problems  that I was having with study? Those are the times where I really crashed and burned. Trying to deal with stuff yourself often doesn’t work. Particularly when you’re 20 years old and have really, very few emotional or life resources to draw on to deal with the problems.

And most of the problems you come across are brand new.

Yes! Exactly! You’ve not encountered them before, and for some reason, — you probably didn’t, again because you internalised this early–  you think that they’re new problems, not just to you, but to the world. And it’s just not true. There are people out there who really want to help. If you’re reading this article, and you desperately need help with business stuff, call Tim! Or don’t, he may hate me now.

You’ve already got the best piece of advice I can give which is ask for help. The thing about that exam, I walked up to them and asked to get everything set up ahead of time, so when the horrible exam results came through, everyone was already prepared. They were like, alright, ‘Tim told us he was stuffing up, Tim did stuff up, how do  we get Tim to pass the unit? Even with the problems with training, even before I picked up the store, I’d actually gone to the people at Hay Street [Dymocks], and the manager there, Amber, is bloody excellent at training staff, I went up to her and was like, ‘what’s your secret, how do you do this?’ I’m not as good as her at it, but there’s someone who’s already invented the wheel, and you know, might as well copy what works. Same thing, with the store accounts, I’m not particularly good at paperwork, it’s always been something I’m weak at, so there’s been plenty of points where I’ve got to a situation, looked at it, and gone: ‘I have no clue what I’ve done wrong but I’ve broken it.’ And gone straight [to my accountant] ‘Annaliese, I’ve broken it, please help.’ The most recent email opened with ‘Tim did a thing. It was terrible.’

You’ve got your life together, but at times, it doesn’t feel like it.  


Will it ever feel like it?

I really don’t think so. Look at it this way; I went from being a bookseller to attaining the ultimate goal of having a bookstore, at which point the metric immediately changed from measuring myself against other booksellers to measuring myself against other book store owners. All of them were about 20 years older than me.

Do you feel like you’ve achieved something?

Yeah. We’ve got the store back up and running in the average band for a store in six months. The expected run time was 18.  When I took over Subiaco, we were at 5% stock capacity, and the confirmable worst Dymocks to exist. No one was as bad as us. We’re in the average band now, and still improving, we’re not even finished with the renovations.

Has anyone ever told you you’re an extra motherfucker?

A few people have mentioned it. Usually it’s about the waistcoats.

Speculative fiction. You know a bit about it. What are your top picks for this year, coming out, or recently released?

We’ve got the second Nevermoor [by Jessica Townsend] coming out at the end of the year, so that’s one I desperately want. Hypothetically we might be getting a new Seth Dickinson at the end of the year as well. Whether that’s real or not, I don’t know, because I’ve seen people who’ve claimed it’s both. We’ve got the new Kameron Hurley coming through, the final one in the Mirror Empire series. Got my hands on the new Feist, that was good fun. Not his best though. He peaked early with Magician. It reads like it’s about 25 years old, like it’s some revenant from the 90s that’s just kind of surfaced out of nowhere.
Another one I really enjoyed recently was Stuart McBride. It’s dark and Scottish. It’s literally filled with Scottish people doing wee nasty things with Scottish people. I kid you not, A Dark So Deadly opens with them finding a bunch of corpses in a tip, and instead of being like ‘oh no, bodies in the tip!’ It’s like ‘Yep, it’s about time for the harvest. Murder, murder, murder, drug deal, someone lost a bunch of mummies from the museum. Hey, dump squad, find out which museum lost their mummies.’ That is literally how it opens, the most blasé ‘Oh look, the tip is full of corpses, it must be Tuesday.’